Yes B, No E

Repent.

2007-10-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you a story,
about a little girl who drowned.
She appeared before me one night,
in tears and anguish.

Walking towards me,
with small, cautious steps.
I smiled at her and said,
"Welcome."

Her body was rotting,
but I do not seem to mind.
For today is the day,
she would join me in the depths of the abyss.

Her cries for help,
can never be heard.
Her suffering,
will not be known to man.

For she was in a place of infernal,
a place called Hell.
And I am the fallen angel,
a son of Satan.

So let me tell you a story,
about the girl who died and went to Hell.
Whose teeth are being gnashed,
whose tongue has being cut,
whose soul is burning in Hell.

If you hear a girl crying one night,
it might just be her.

I will be here waiting patiently,
waiting for your coming.

Guess who's back?

2007-09-01T01:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm back.
Actually, it has already been a few days since I got back from Malaysia.

I was just too lazy to announce to the entire world, that's all.

Well, it was a short holiday.
Shorter than I've expected.
That's because there's almost nothing to do there except shopping.

So yes, it was a waste of my time.
But I did buy new clothes for myself though.

I wont be blogging about my Malaysia trip just yet.
Next entry, perhaps.

But if you guys must know, yes, Malaysian girls(at least most) are prettier than the girls here.
They were so damn hot.

Yummy.

P.S: I'm trying to upload the pictures from my phone into my computer. It might take a while so bear with me.

Call me 'The Legend'

2007-08-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update, in a desperate attempt to keep this blog alive.
I've to study for my last paper, you know.

By now, most of my close friends would have already known
that I've picked up a new hobby.

Yes, I've taken up an interest in skateboarding.

If you're a pussy, then this sport is not for you.
I'm sorry but the truth always hurts.

Only people with enough balls can skateboard.

So being implusive, as usual, I went to buy a skateboard.
I bought a plain deck from Miz 29 for $99.

That's because I'm a rookie.
And rookies don't need fanciful decks.

Nope, they don't.

It has been 5 days since I've bought the skateboard.
I've been practicing hard, for almost every single day.

And if you ask me, I think I'm a natural.
No, that's no bullshit.

- I'm a 'sk8ter boi'!

I swear it's the truth.

The sad thing is, that nobody's teaching me. So I've to learn by myself.
And how do I do that?

Easy. Just keep falling, and falling, and falling, and.... until you get it.

Sounds really sadistic, but it's true.
Like they always say, "No pain, no gain."

I had a really nasty fall a few days ago.

I was feeling high and I decided to take on highest ramp.
It's not hard to predict,
that I fell the moment I took off, and landed backwards.

I got lucky, because neither my spine nor my head took the impact.
My butt wasn't that fortunate though.

I had a few cuts on my palms,
my left elbow was bleeding and knees were swollen.

And yes, I had a big bruise on my left butt cheek.

Yes, I know what you horny, girls must be thinking.
You're hoping that I'd upload a picture of my butt cheeks, didn't you?

I'm sorry to disappoint you. I wish I could, but they're reserved.

But if this makes you girls(or guys, for some) high, here's a consolation for you.

- Bouncy bouncy, smack smack!

Yes, my butt cheeks are bouncy.
Probably bouncier than fishballs.
Ha!
Have fun with that mental image.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.
Skateboarding can fun, once you get the hang of it, that is.
That reminds me.
Some people even call me 'The Legend'.

- My hero.

Someday, I'll be Singapore's Tony Hawk.
Ha!

But seriously, I need more practice.

Okay, I know what you bastards are thinking.
You want bloopers, so you can laugh your ass off at me, don't you.

Amirul took a video of me skate-boarding 2 days ago.
Enjoy the short video clip.
Try not to fall of your chair, okay?

Edit:
I would be leaving for Kuala Lumpur tomorrow.
I'll be off on a "short" holiday.

My father has meetings to attend in Kuala Lumpur
and he has arranged for me to meet him there.

I'll do some exciting exploring while he attends some boring meeting.

I reckon, that it would be a great time to get a tan.
Will be doing some sight-seeing within and around Kuala Lumpur.

Shop in the Petronas Twin Towers, perhaps?

I just not quite sure when I'll be back though.
Pray hard, that I won't be robbed.

But then again, with a face like mine,
I think the risk of being beaten up would be much higher than getting robbed.

I'll miss Fiona.
~~I miss her already.~~
I think I'll get her a gift.

Maybe I'll buy her a pair of flip flops.
How romantic.

The ghost wears Prada.

2007-08-16T03:30:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer:
This entry and any information within the entry,
contains sensitive information and is intended for entertainment purposes only.
If you are not an intended observer of this entry,
you must not disseminate, modify,
plagiarize or take action in reliance upon it, unless permitted by me, Benn is Mua.
None of the information provided on in this entry may be used,
reproduced in any form or by any means,
without permission from me, again.

The annual Hungry Ghost Festival is here again.
Boo.

Go ahead, groan and complain all you want.
Besides, we have every reason and right to.

Quote Wikipedia, "The Hungry Ghost Festival is a traditional Chinese festival, which is celebrated by Chinese in many countries."

Take note, that it uses the word 'traditional', and not 'modern'.

- Food!

So tell me, are we, the new generation, a bunch of "traditionally-minded" people?

To be really honest, no.
Most of us aren't.

What the hell is a Hungry Ghost Festival anyway?
It doesn't even sound interesting at all.

These days, festivals have taken on a new form, and name.
If the name appeals to the public, it gets more attention.

Here are some, that you might be familiar with.

CosFest.

FoodFest.

SingFest.

ArtFest.

WaterFest.

~~and how can anyone forget, there's always BreakFest.~~

Get it? BreakFest, as in, breakfast?
Never mind.

So if we(the new generation) were to have it our way,
and if we were to rename the festival,
it would be simple, short and sweet.
~~Just like how I like my girls.~~

Something like...

GhostFest.

And this, could be it's poster.

- Yes, I know I did a great job at editing that.

I say, isn't that much, much more appealing?

Well, let's just hope that our parents and grandparents hate that,
because that would mean that it's probably cool.

Next, we ask ourselves.
Why do we even practice this... festival in the first place?

Let's talk about the pros and the cons, shall we?
I'll start with the cons first, because I feel like it.

Cons

As we all know, Earth is dying.
People are suffering.

Global warming is real.

Yes, that same old, boring "save-the-Earth" crap again.

But think about it.
Think about the amount of carbon dioxiode that is being produced
when the joss sticks and 'hell money' are being burnt.

Carbon Footprint, is what I'm talking about.

Word-of-the-day

Carbon Footprint [car-burn food-print]
-noun

1. a measure of the impact human activities have on the environment, in terms of the amount of green house gases produced, measured in units of carbon dioxide.
2. the shit that we leave behind.

Sure, one family is not a problem.
But every family who practices this tradition?
Big problem.

Alright, let's move on to the next issue.
You see, the government has been really considerate and thoughtful.

The government has done a great job
to ensure racial tolerance among the different races in Singapore.

- Does this look familiar to you?

Yes, that's right.
Our government has been thoughtful enough
to deploy several of these containers around each housing estate.

Most of the people make use of the facilities that have been provided.
But there are always a few morons who just want to be special.

Tell me, how are we going to walk if the 'hell money' are sprawled all over the pavement?
Pavements are for people, like you and me, to walk on.

It is not a furnace, nor a place to start a bonfire.

Besides, burning 'hell money' on pavements should be considered as vandalism.
The black soot that has been left behind,
after all the 'hell money' has been burnt, leaves unsightly markings on the pavement.

So beware, don't burn your offerings on the pavement.
Unless you want to "offer" a fine.

Pros

Now, this festival does have an impact on our lifestyles, to a certain extent.

Kids stop pissing under those poor tress during the Hungry Ghost Festival.

Teenagers are home early, possibly even before their curfew, during the Hungry Ghost Festival.

The food industy benefits, probably because of the food people are buying to use as offerings, during the Hungry Ghost Festival.

Singapore's economy goes up, and because there's 7% GST, it goes up even higher during the Hungry Ghost Festival.

So I guessing, that the Hungry Ghost Festival isn't such a lousy festival after all.
It's just that the name is uncool.

That's all I'm saying, that's all I'm saying.

Good or bad, you decide.

Personally, I feel that it would be perfectly fine,
if these terms and conditions were met.

1) No ashes flying into my house.

2) No burning of joss sticks, candles or 'hell money' on the pavement.

3) No 'ge tai' past 10pm.
(the last time my neighbourhood has a 'ge tai', it only ended when it was past midnight.)

That's all I have to say.
Happy Hungry Ghost Festival, people.
(happy hungry ghost, just sounds wrong.)

Happy haunting!

P.S: I wonder... if we can Trick-or-Treat on Hungry Ghost Festival.

Edit:
My sincere apologies to readers who were offended after reading my entry.
As I've stated earlier, everything in this entry was intended only for entertainment purposes.
If it makes you feel any better, I think I'd be burning in hell when I die.
Peace out.

The sweet escape.

2007-08-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know.
It's been almost a week since I last updated and I apologise for that.

I had to mug for 4 tests and submit a project last week,
and I have 3 exam papers to sit for, this week.

Sometimes,
I feel that lecturers exist, for the sole purpose of tormenting us.

Life in Singapore Polytechnic is a sexually transmitted disease.
Boo.

I'm actually making some(but slow) progress with Fiona.

Yes, I'm still attracted to her.
But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with her.

I mean, she's hot and... cute and... hot and is so nice to get along with.
But I really think that I shouldn't be falling for her.

At least, not yet.

But yea, we're cool.
No worries.

I'm sad.
Why?

Two words.
Gwen Stefani's concert.

Okay, that's three.
The point is, that I wanted to buy tickets to her concert really badly.
But I just couldn't find anyone to go with me.

I'm so sad.

Gwen Stefani, come back next year.
Please?

Edit:
I'll do my best to post a better, more interesting entry
in the next update, some time this week.

But no promises, okay?

Confession.

2007-08-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

That's it, I've done it.
I've just told Fiona that I'm feeling an attraction towards her.

Was nervous as hell, my feet was cold and sweaty.
I took a sniff and boy, it did not smell good.

Gee, and her reaction wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I think, I should continue texting her.

Simplicity at it's best, indeed.

Benn is not a person, but rather, a religion.

2007-08-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

So what were you bastards up to this week?

Well for Stella, she was busy making me look like a hamster.

- I say, there's something peculiar about that nose.

While Nick was trying to make me look like Mystique.

- I'm blue daba di daba da...

That's a pretty nice one, Nick.

A big thank you to the both of you,
just remember to credit yourselves the next time, yea?

Health Update!

The Good News

My eyes are alot better now, but blood clot is still visible.
So I guess, I won't be going blind after all.

The Bad News

I'm running a high fever that has been torturing me for like, 3 days now.
And I would rather die than to see a doctor.

I have a really sore throat as well,
so I figured that the fever was probably caused by my throat infection.

My jokes are bad.

2007-08-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Bad Joke #1

My visit to the doctor's yesterday was one to remember.

I stepped into the clinic and before I could say anything,
a nurse asked me, "So is this your first time?"

I almost replied, "Yes, I'm a virgin. Does that turn you on?"

Bad Joke #2

Don't worry about my eyes, people.

That's because I bought a new pair of eyeballs from The Body Shop.

Bad Joke #3

Singapore's 40th(wait, how old is Singapore again?) birthday is just around the corner.

Great, I'm looking forward to ~~Propaganda~~ National Day!

I mean, isn't it "interesting" to see:

- soldiers standing still
~~just like those guys who pretend to be statues, at amusement parks~~

- fighter jets flying past the stadium
~~when they fly over our heads every single day and annoy us with the noise, without fail~~

- commandos parachuting into the stadium
~~probably because they couldn't afford to take a bus there~~

- fireworks
~~same old, boring fireworks, but with 7% more GST added, this time round~~

Sore.

2007-08-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

WARNING: The pictures you're about to see are rather disturbing.

My left eye was hurting really badly when I woke up on Tuesday.
To my utmost horror, I realised that it hurts when I tried to open my eye.

Why?
That's because my left eye was sore and red.

- I know what you must be thinking. Yes, they are are post-it notes, no doubt about that.

No, it doesn't have anything to do with watching too much porn,
so please don't get so excited.

In fact, watching too much porn doesn't even make your eyes sore.
But playing too much DotA does.

I had a test on Tuesday,
so there was no way I was going to sit for a re-test.
So I've decided to go ahead, and take the test.
(I think, I had a perfect score. Full marks.)

But I went home, right after the test ended.
Took a long afternoon nap to rest my eyes.

However, I insisted on not going to see a doctor because that would be really troublesome.

Plus, I thought that having sore eyes isn't a really big deal.
I was expecting my eye to get better by the next morning.

And guess what?
It actually got worse.

In fact, blood was starting to clot in my left eye.
The clot was so big, that a red patch of blood formed in my eyeball.

- Yeah, I know. It's disgusting, alright.

Not only that, my right eye was also infected.
So now, both of my eyes are red and sore.

So I've decided to surrender, and pay a visit to the doctor's.
Besides, the clot was scaring the f**k out of me.

I don't want to be blind at the age of 19, you know.
Anyway, my eyes were hurting so much, I had splitting headaches during lessons.

The doctor said that it looked pretty serious, prescribed shitloads of medication,
including painkillers(God bless her soul).

She told me to take the next 2 days off and said that it might take about,
a week or so for the clot in my eye to go away.

Oh shit, I can't let Fiona see me like this on Saturday!
I'm doomed.

P.S: I just hope that my right eye will not have a blood clot as well. It sucks to be Cyclops.

Edit:
I was told, that if a person stares into the eyes of someone whose eyes are sore,
they would be infected as well.

So, I've decided to conduct a "little experiment".

Pick any picture in this entry, that has my face in it.
Stare into my eyes for about a minute or so.

Do not be smitten or charmed by my good looks, focus.

Repeat the process.
Tag me with your observations.

~~No, I won't be paying for your medical bills, morons.~~

The truth hurts?

2007-07-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

I often ask myself, "Am I really that physcially unattractive?"

Yes, the truth is that, I can't seem to accept myself for who I am.
People who accept themselves
for who they are so readily, will never change for the better.

That's because they don't see the need to, since they have already "accepted all their flaws".

So yes, I am ugly.
I'm unattractive and hideous.

But what hurts me the most,
is that people whom I regard as friends are the ones who are hurting my feelings.

Scenerio 1

Benn: I'll be drinking and partying like crazy, when I'm in London.

Friend: Oh?

Benn: Yeah, and I heard that the chicks there are pretty wild. Perhaps, I might even get laid.

Friend: It's not like the girls there would want to be laid by you.

Ouch.
Don't tell me it was a joke.
If it was, why wasn't I laughing?
(It wasn't even funny in the first place.)

Was it necessary to bring me down like that?

To me, it's an insult.
And it is really demoralizing, to hear the same response from so many different people.

So yes, Benn has finally admitted that he's ugly.
Yay.

Some friends.

P.S: If I do get laid when I'm in London, I insist on an apology from each and every one of you.

You have stolen my... heart.

2007-07-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

Note: Sorry for the lack of updates, been down with flu this week. My nose's a bitch. Take care, everyone.

Oh my God, I've just found out that Fiona reads my blog every now and then.
It gets me nevous, just thinking about it.
Yikes.

Anyway, I've some good news to share.

I weighed myself today and... I've gained 1kg.
Yay!

Oh, and my mother has given me "the green light" for the UK trip.
So all I need now is... $2,000.

Early Christmas/Birthday present, anyone?

Oh f**k it, I'll just work for it.
The first semester of school is ending soon,
and that can only mean one thing... the Semestral Exams.

Fortunately, that also means that our vacation is just around the corner.
So basically, I have a month to earn $2,000.

Good luck, Benn.
You'll need it.

Anyway, Steph is such a sweetheart.
She took one of my pictures and photoshopped it.

Here, have a look.

- Is it just me, or do I look more like Wolverine than Gambit?

Don't I just look so adorable?

Many thanks to Steph, once again.
For the much appreciated time and effort she had spent, just to make me... hairy.

P.S: Feel free to photoshop any pictures of me. Just remember to credit yourself, so everyone can recognise your fruits of labour. I'd be most glad to post them up here.

Benn's to-do list.

2007-07-27T02:55:00.000+08:00

Here's a list of things that I'm aiming to achieve, hopefully, by the end of the year.

1) Thou shalt gain more weight

Everybody tells me that I need to gain more weight.
Well, that's what I think as well.

I'm 58kg at the moment,
trying really hard to get up to 60kg before the year ends.

Been eating alot, but so far, it doesn't seem to be working.
2kg, so near yet so far.

2) Thou shalt have sexier arms

I hate it when people tell me that I've scrawny arms.
Yes I know, the truth hurts.

And that is why, I've been working out more than usual lately.
Spartan arms, I must have.

3) Thou shalt get thy abs back

Two words, "Six-pack, again."

Okay, that's three.

4) Thou shalt work and go on a holiday

Most of you don't know this, but I'm planning for my next big holiday.
I'm considering UK, London.

I've a friend who lives there, and she has allowed me to crash at her place while I'm there.
She and her husband don't work, so they will be showing me around.
But for that to happen, I'll need at least $2,000.

Looks like I'll have to work hard, really hard.

5) Thou shalt do something about thy eyes and teeth

My eyes, I might be going for a minor operation.
That has not been confirmed so I won't say much.
But I'll be wearing contact lenses again.

As for my teeth, I'm might want to wear braces, again.
I've to beg my mother first.
(I yanked my braces out the last time I wore, because it was hurting way too much.)

Anyway, I'm also thinking of whitening my teeth, a "Hollywood smile" is what I need.
It'll cost me, but I think it's worth every cent.
I'm sure I'll look sexier, when I smile.
(I'm already sexy to begin with, anyway.)

Oh, and not to forget, I'll be changing my hairstyle and my dress sense, as well.

Why the sudden change, you ask?
Well, I've been thinking alot lately...
and I see the need to change and improve myself.

I'm a nice chap, sure.
But the truth is, I'm not charming.

Therefore, I shouldn't be satisfied with how I look now,
because I know that with a bit of determination and effort, I can look so much better.

Call me a spoilt rich kid.

A (male) bimbo.

A superfical bastard.

Whatever.

The gospel truth.

2007-07-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

That's it.
Enough is enough.

Girls, listen to me.
Yes, listen to Benn, the health & fitness guru.

Want to lose weight, and look good at the same time?

Don't bother going on a diet.
Don't bother eating weight loss pills.
These methods are f**king useless.

Yes, that's the cold, painful truth.
Right smack in your face.

Eating less doesn't make you look good, it makes you anorexic.

Eating weight loss pills doesn't make you look good, it makes you look like you're sick.

Most girls believe,
that if they avoid food that give carbohydrates, they'll lose weight.
Most girls also believe,
that if they take weight loss pills at a regular basis, they'll lose weight.

Now listen up, dumb shits.
The only reason why you're alive and reading this blog entry now,
is because of the carbohydrates.

Yes, it's true.
Eating weight loss pills, helps you to lose weight.
Going on a diet, helps you to fit into that Zara dress you've bought during the Great Singapore Sale.

But here's the catch.

Do you like flabby arms?

- Poor May, for being abused and disgraced by Xuan Hong.

Well if you don't, I'd suggest you stop eating lesser than usual.

Yes, you'll look slim.

But you wouldn't feel slim.
Do you seriously think a guy would be turned on when he touches your flabs?
Hell no.

~~It gives me the shivers, just thinking about it.~~

So you must be thinking, "Then how do I lose weight, look and feel slim, all at the same time?"

Now, I'll tell you.

Exercise.
Yes. No pain, no gain.
There is no shortcut.

Exercising helps you to lose weight, keeps you healthy and tone up those muscles.
Now please exercise, for the love of God.

300 men, 600 breasts, 2400 abs.

2007-07-22T05:35:00.000+08:00

It's half past 5 in the morning now, but I'm still feeling rather hyped.

I've just finished watching 300, it was awesome.
What's 300 about?

Well, the story is about 300 hot, sexy, macho men with eight packs,
armed with spears and shields, roaring like gorillas.

Yes, that's what it's about.
I bet the actor who played the king must have lost his voice countless time,
from all that shouting that he was doing in the movie.
Poor king.

- I think the king could do a commerical for Strepsils.

But I've got to admit though,
I've never seen so many hot men with eight packs in a movie before.

The soldiers in the 'Lord of the Rings' were scrawny.

The soldiers in 'Troy' were too pathetic.

The soldiers in 'Star Wars' wore stupid white masks and shoots laser beams(like, what the hell?).

The soldiers in 'Narnia' were gay.

The soldiers in 'Harry Potter' were too nerdy.
(Wait, I don't think 'Harry Potter' had soldiers.)

And the Spartan breasts.
Damn, they look so firm and hard.

- Just look at the Spartan breasts and abs.

I'm so f**king envious.
I want Spartan breasts too.

Anyway, the fighting scenes were gory but that's the way we guys liked it.

I think this movie is no doubt, worth watching.

Really makes you feel like getting those Spartan breasts, eh?

Anyway, Fariz and I were on our way to Novena(don't ask why)
when our train stopped, for what seemed like 15 minutes.

Strange.

Then we saw this notice flashing when we reached Novena.

Stranger.

So I figured...

1) that another stupid Singaporean committed suicide, again.

2) an old woman's leg got caught between the doors, again.

3) some faggot pressed the emergency button, again.

4) a dumb terrorist decided to bomb the MRT station, now that's something new for a change.

My mother told me that a person was being hit by the train, hence the delay.
Ha, what a f**king noob.

Edit:
My mother told me that the person died.

Gee, can anyone tell me what really happened on that day?

Can't take it anymore.

2007-07-19T23:15:00.000+08:00

Everybody has been telling me,
"Benn, you have to watch 'Transformers'. The girl is really hot!"

I didn't really care because I thought that 'Transformers' was a stupid movie... until last night.
That's because I've watched it(on my computer) last night
and I have to say, the girl(Megan Fox) is an angel.

She's... perfect.
Oh my God, she's like... smoking hot!

I mean, just looking at her.
What a beauty.
Gorgeous!
(I sound like the Steve Irwin.)

- Oh my God, Fiona Xie ought to be ashamed.

I am so turned on right now.
She is a living goddess, I tell you.
(So is the cheerleader from Heroes.)

She's tanned and her figure can not get any better than this.
How I wish the girls in Singapore would aspire to look like her
and not some act-cute Taiwanese singer(Jolin Tsai, yuck).

She's definitely my new lover, at least for now.

She's godsent, no doubt about that.

I've just heard that she has already signed on for 'Transformers 2'.
So guys, I guess that's another reason(actually, it's the main reason)
for us to catch the 'Transformers 2' when it's out.

I'm just going to reach for that bottle of lubricant and...

I think I'm about to have an orgasm.

Came by to die.

2007-07-19T17:20:00.000+08:00

Guess what?
An unexpected guest dropped by in my room last night.

Literally.

So me, being a great host, decided to imprison it in a glass container.

Looks familiar?
Yes, it's one of those huge, annoying beetles
that give out that dreadful buzzing sound when it flies.

Anyway, it made a mistake when it decided to rest on my arm.
I freaked the f**k out and screamed like a girl.

It will pay for that.

- You're the most digusting piece of crap I've ever seen.

I figured that I could do anything I want with it,
since it's my prisoner now.

So I've decided, to have a little fun with it.
It's payback time.

After the beetle was humiliated,
I then went on to conduct a few "scientific experiments".

I sprayed my Hugo Boss perfume on the beetle, once.
It died in less than 15 minutes.

How tragic.

Go figure.

2007-07-16T18:45:00.000+08:00

I wanted to practice my drum stick control last night.
So I took the nearest object that was within my reach, and used it as my drum pad.

Unfortunately, my tissue box wasn't lucky this time.

Says here on the tissue box, that it's "Soft and Strong".

- Soft and strong? We'll see about that.

So I figured, that using it for practice wouldn't hurt.

Now this was how it looked like, after my first song.

- Yes, I know. It's a wreck.

Then I figured, that it would be wise to stop
before I really destroy it.

Besides, I don't think that I need anymore lectures from my mother.

Strange though, I could have sworn that it said that it was "Soft and Strong".
Then I figured, that they were talking about the facial tissue and not the tissue box.

How ironic, how can the facial tissue be strong
when the box itself, isn't strong enough?

Then I figured, that maybe they were trying to say something else.
Maybe "Soft and Strong" had another meaning.
Like so.

Now I'm satisfied.

P.S: I was feeling bored, so I impaled my tissue box with my drum stick.

Oh my f**king God?

2007-07-15T12:10:00.000+08:00

Oh my God, I'm such an idiot!
(No, it's not about my Pokemon.)

You see, Fiona and I were texting each other last night,
and we had a pretty good time catching up.

A good conversation was something we didn't have for quite a while,
because her mother
is threatening the existence of her phone.

So anyway, she went to bed after 1 while I decided to stay up "a while longer".

I only started feeling drowsy after 4.
So, I finally decided to turn in for the night.

Then, I thought to myself, "Why don't I text Fiona a really sweet good-night message?"
Now, wouldn't that be sweet?

So I did.
And this was what I typed.

--------------------------------------------------

Friendly
Inspirational
Obliging
Nice
Amusing

See, Fiona's major okay after all!

--------------------------------------------------

And this was what I was typing.

--------------------------------------------------

Friendly
Inspirational
O
N
Amusing

--------------------------------------------------

Yes I know, I left out the 'O' and the 'N'
because I couldn't think of anything flattering
that starts with that alphabet.

But before I could finish typing the message, I fell asleep.

I woke up at 10 in the morning, with less than 6 hours of rest.
Had a strange dream,
dreamt that my pants tore when I was on my way to school, to sit for an exam.
And I ended up being late.

Note: I'm telling the truth, I did have that rather, funny dream.

When I woke up, I realised that I've screwed up, big time.
Tossing and turning in bed made me send the incomplete message to her by accident.

I've counted, and I have sent the same, incomplete message to her, 13 times.

Yes, 13 f**king times.

- This is really f**ked up.

And just when I thought the worst was over,
I realised that I've sent her a text message simliar to this one, a few weeks ago.

I know, you must be thinking, "What the f**k?"

I think, I'm losing my touch.

Then again, I think I'm just being me.

A tragic Pokemon story.

2007-07-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

It's half past 1 and I'm exhausted.
I've been trying to search for the elusive Mew the entire evening.

My efforts finally paid off when I found the legendary Pokemon,
after more than 2 hours of walking in the tall grass.

But I soon came to a realise one thing... that it was more than twice my Pokemon's level.

Most of my Pokemon were only level 19.
Oh my God.

Anyway, I'm assuming that Mew only had 3 moves.
(That's because that's all it ever uses.)

Confusion, Metronome and Transform.

So basically, Mew Confusion-ed the shit out of my first 5 Pokemon,
leaving me with my last one, Ivysaur.

To make things worse,
Mew transformed into Ivysaur, as if it was trying to taunt me.

- Notice that my Ivysaur is asleep, no thanks to Mew's(mine, actually) Sleep Powder.

It wasn't long before the fake Ivysaur killed me.

And that's how Mew raped my Pokemon.
Now, that's f**ked up.

I swear, I'll avenge my Pokemon one day.
I guess, Mew's not that cute after all.

Word-of-the-day

F**ker [f**k-ker]
-noun, slang

1. a word used to describe Mew
2. an annoying and disgusting person.

Benn is an angry man.

2007-07-14T16:45:00.000+08:00

What a disappointing weekend.
Utterly disappointing.

As you all know, I was supposed to be partying and hanging out at Zouk last night,
having the time of my life.

But no, I didn't.

That's because my friends stood me up at the last minute.
None of them could make it, not even one.

But me, being the nice guy that I always am, didn't make a big fuss about it.
It's no biggie.

However, I refused to be stuck at home on a Friday night.
Because Friday night marks the start of the weekend,
and staying home just goes to show how boring your life is.

Note: This doesn't apply to you if you're grounded. You're grounded because you did something wrong, you bastard.

God forbid, anyone to be home on a Friday night, be it studying or watching CSI.
It's a sin, I tell you.

Anyway, I managed to coax Mint out and suggested we go rock climbing.
So we did.

We had a great time, so that's a consolation, I guess.
Plus, I had something to look forward to.
Saturday.

That's because my friends(yes, the same group of people)
and I will be spending the day at Sentosa.

I was so excited when everyone told me that they would be there.

Then... guess what?

I got stood up, again.
What the f**k?

I don't really give a damn, if they are reasons/excuses.
I got stood up twice in two days, consecutively.

I'm such a loser.

So here I am, sitting down in front of my computer,
typing this stupid entry,
when I should be at Sentosa, getting a tan and ogling at girls in bikinis.

Note: I know, it's hard to believe that someone so gay(me, that is), is actually straight.

Sometimes, I think I'm too nice.
Bloody hell.

I'm dying of boredom and I've nothing to do.

I'm so sick of DotA.
I'm so sick of National Geographic.
I'm so sick of Spider Solitaire.
I'm so sick of porn.
(That's a really bad lie.)

So, allow me to tell you how I spent my Saturday afternoon.

This was what I was doing.

Yes, I was actually playing a f**king Pokemon game.
Well, I've started this afternoon, so keep the insults to yourself.

I've got a Mewtwo, so I guess I'm sexy.
But the question is, how do I catch Mew?

- Mew! Mew!

Doesn't that sound just makes you so... horny?

Edit:
My friends(yes, them again) told me that they'll be hanging out on Sunday night,
at 'The Mind Cafe'.
But I think it's only right that I stand them up, don't you think?
After all, I don't want a hat-trick, you know.

I'm a retard.

2007-07-13T12:15:00.000+08:00

That's strange.

I'm strange.

Seriously, I've no idea why I'm getting so excited and hyped at the fact that
I'll be clubbing at Zouk with my friends tomorrow night.

Well, if you know me well enough,
you'd know that I'm not the sort who frequent clubs on a regular basis.

In fact, I hardly do.

See? I'm a mama's boy after all.

Anyway, I think it's about time I get myself a new hairstyle?
I want something unique and refreshing.
Definitely something... that can turn heads.

But with my short hair, so I guess my options are rather limited.

This is when you faggots come in handy.
Help me decide on the hairstyle that would look really good on me.
Make yourselves useful, slaves.

Note: You can leave me a tag, or a message in MSN.

Here's a random picture of my current hairstyle.

- Don't ask me what I was doing. Love candid shots.

And here are the new hairstyles I have in mind.

- That's the Ultra Man, an uncanny resemblance indeed. Except that I'm so much sexier.

- I call that the McDonald's. You don't have to be an idiot to see why.

And if all else fails...

- I love beanies. Don't I look so cute when I wear it?

Great, now that I'm all sexy ~~and gay~~,
the guys in Zouk had better watch out.

They're up against some stiff competition here.
Heh.

Damn, I hope my mother doesn't get a hold of these pictures.

I know, I've a huge pimple on my nose and my eyes are red and sore
and I'm wearing a yellow shirt.

Go ahead, laugh at me.
I'm a freak with pimples on the nose
and I watch porn every night before I go to bed
and love wearing gay shirts.

Happy now?

Word-of-the-day

Club [club]
-noun

1. vodka and more vodka.
2. a place where ugly guys get the chance to grope girls.

Back in business.

2007-07-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

Good news!
I think... I'm ready to start blogging again.

Good bye, emotional entries.

Hello again, crazy/wild/insane entries.

Benn is back!

For a start, I'll be going to Zouk with my clique this Friday night.
Expect pictures and more pictures.

Maybe some pussy, I don't know.

I bet Xuan Hong just wants to grab some ass.
That sick bastard.

Anyway, a very happy birthday to Yuwen.
Happy now?
Idiot.

Note: Deal or No Deal is a really, really stupid show.

Another note: Leave me a tag if you've not been linked.

One last note: The previous note is only applicable to my friends only. No morons.

Calm after the storm.

2007-07-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

"When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight."

It ends tonight.

That's it, no more tears.
I'm done.

Yes, I'm feeling so much better now,
even though things didn't turn out the way I expected it to.

Oh well, I guess life's like that.
Just like a roller coaster in Six Flags.

And oh, a big thank you to all my friends who were there for me,
during my darkest hours.

Most sincere thanks to:

- Connie

- Xuan Hong

- May Ng ~~Ze Lu~~

- Janice ~~O Yang~~

- Nene & Mint

and... Fiona.

Who's Fiona, you may ask?

Well, we've just became friends not long ago.
And both of us, being extroverts,
hit it off pretty well and we've have been chatting alot lately.

She's a great girl, really.
Cute, with a great sense of humour.

Don't get me wrong.
She's a dear friend of mine and I enjoy her company.

But still, i do not have any romantic motives... at the moment.
Heh.

Life in school is hectic and boring, as usual.
Lectureres are morons.

They can be talking about computers, routers
and internet networks a minute,
and rant about their pathetic, miserable lives the next.

We need better lecturers, seriously.

Looking for trouble.

2007-05-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

Word-of-the-day

Trash [trash]
-noun

1. anything worthless; rubbish.
2. girls.

Ha!
Deal with that, suckers.

I don't have a life.

2007-05-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

I have to admit, I really need to get a life sometimes.
Currently, I've too much school work to complete in such little time.

Screw E-Learning.
Screw the lecturers.
Screw Singapore Polytechnic.
(I believe I'm ranting, again.)

Somebody buy my lecturers a Tamagotchi, please.
Keep them occupied before they kill us with projects and presentations.

School has been putting a strain on everything in my life.
Everything seems so... messed up now.

My relationship is failing.
My health is poor.
My grades are not making me happy.

Everything's quite f**ked up at the moment.
(Okay, I'm ranting.)

Holy shit.
I think I'm starting to crack under pressure.
Plus, my entries are getting too emotional.
(But then again, since when were my entries not emtional?)
But since I've been ranting away like a bitch, why not go all the way?

Word-of-the-day

Pussy [poo-see]
-noun, adjetive

1. word used to describe lecturers.
2. slang for cunt

How interesting.

Ahh... Ranting is exhausting.
I need to relax and chill.
Mom just subscribed Cartoon Network.

Yay.

Boring week indeed.

2007-04-26T18:31:00.000+08:00

Boring.
That's the only word I can use to describe this week.

Boring, wet mornings.

Boring people trying to squeeze into the train.

Boring lectures.

Even more boring lecturers.

Boring, crowded food courts.

More boring lessons.

Boring way home.

Boring rest of the day being spent in front of the computer/television.

Get what I mean?

Sentosa this weekend, anyone?
Next?
The week after next?

Oh, here are some videos that might keep you entertained.

Well, at least I was.
Enjoy.

Barbie Girl

Comments:

- Since when was Ken bald?

- Barbie is so erotic.

- Barbie in a bikini. What a turn-on.

- Ha! Barbie nearly fell at 02:06 of the video.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Comments:

- This video brought back so many memories, that I cried like a baby.

- Splinter had thick, hairy eyebrows when he was a human. That is very disturbing.

- April would probably upload the video she took of Shredder being beaten up by the TMNT on YouTube.

Tarzan And Jane

Comments:

- Tarzan said, "When you touch me, I feel funny." The right word would be 'horny', Tarzan.

- Tarzan can be seen thrusting in front of Jane at 02:18 of the video.

- This video should be rated M18.